Will: I made these kabobs for Grace once. She totally fell in love with the recipe.
Grace: Liar! How could I fall in love with your kabobs? I've never had them. Diane had your kabobs. But... more

Grace: No, I am not mad. And I'll tell you why I'm mad... Because I am NOT mad!
Will: You're not making any sense!
Grace: Oh, and all of a sudden you're vice president of things that make... more

Grace: "Aaahhh!!! I'm not gonna....., I can't believe she just......, NOOOOO!!!"

Will: ".....so you're mom called?"

Will, my love for you is like this scar- ugly, but permanent.

Jack: For your information, most people who meet me do not know that I am gay.

Will: Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.

Jack: Grace, when you first met... more

Those canadians, they think theyre so smug with their health care and gay rights. Its so easy to be like that when youre not a real country

(about Karen) She once gave me a breath mint, and I woke up four days later with my clothes on backwards and a sticker of Baltimore on my forehead.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go upstairs and buy some giant bras. Or as the rest of the world calls them, B-cups.

GRACE: God they are so cool, they got arrested! I wanna get arrested.

JACK/KAREN (without realizing they're both speaking) Just go outside in what you're wearing.

Grace: On Christmas Eve, grandma lost both her legs to diabetes.
Jack: And then on Christmas Day, she lost both her feet.