Nancy: Wash your hands! All I need now is for the kids to eat heroin eggs for breakfast.

Andy: Right, cause then they'd want them everyday.

What can I say? You bring out the 'fuck you' in me.

Hey Lupita what is the thing between the dick and the asshole called?"
Lupita-"The coffeetable

I can only deal with one thing at a time. If I deal with one thing at a time I'm less inclined to shoot myself in the head

Nancy: You bought a Prius?
U-Turn: I bought seven of them. I've got my whole crew driving em, real quiet. Good for sneaking up on MOTHERFUCKERS!!

[to Shane about masturbation] Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk... more

where there is fire, people like to smoke. where there is fire, people like to toke. oh where there is fire, we can all get baked. and if we are lucky maybe we'll get laid.

Andy: Do you think there's rat spit in here? Like, plague rat spit? Are we smoking plague?
Doug: No, no. Fire beats plague. As soon as we lit it up, it was safe. It's sterilized.

Andy Botwin: Hey, Lupita, settle an argument for us, what do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?
Lupita: The coffee table.

lupita what do you call the space between the dick and the asshole?"

"the coffee table