Hey Lupita what is the thing between the dick and the asshole called?"
Lupita-"The coffeetable

You took something beautiful, like Jessica's vagina, and made it just a place to put a foot.

[to Shane about masturbation] Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk... more

I'm so glad our last name's not Drew cause then you would be Nancy Drew and I'd be Andrew Drew

[to Shane about masturbation] Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk... more

Nancy: Wash your hands! All I need now is for the kids to eat heroin eggs for breakfast.

Andy: Right, cause then they'd want them everyday.

Andy: Do you think there's rat spit in here? Like, plague rat spit? Are we smoking plague?
Doug: No, no. Fire beats plague. As soon as we lit it up, it was safe. It's sterilized.

Andy Botwin: How can you be so blindly pro-Bush?
Doug Wilson: I like his wife Laura... I used to buy weed from her at SMU.

Andy: You want to smoke up?
Doug: Is the Pope Polish?
Andy: German

Man, how did you get so smart at what, sixteen? It took me years to learn slightly defective chicks are the way to go. I once went out with this girl with a baby arm, insane in the sack, plus when... more