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Two and a Half Men Featured Quote

I think God gives us children so that death won't come as such a disappointment.
--Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper
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Most Popular Quotes

Charlie: Jake. What do men have that women dont?
Jake: Beards.
Charlie: no. Lower
Jake: (in a lower voice tone) Beards
--Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
--Angus T. Jones as Jake Harper
270 fans have favorited this | 1 comments
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Charlie: Ooh never again, never again.
Berta: You gonna stop drinking?
Charlie: Are you crazy, I'm gonna stop waking up!
--Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
203 fans have favorited this | 2 comments
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Feelings are like your mother's breasts..you know they're there, but they're better left unfelt
--Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
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View Top 10 Two and a Half Men Quotes of All Time!View Quotes
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Top Quoted Characters

1
Charlie Harper
271 quotes
2
Alan Harper
149 quotes
3
Jake Harper
118 quotes
4
Berta
43 quotes
5
Evelyn Harper
26 quotes
6
Rose
13 quotes
7
Miscellaneous Character
9 quotes
8
Judith Harper
5 quotes
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Find popular Two and a Half Men quotes or upload your favorite quotes from Two and a Half Men characters and actors including Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen), Alan Harper (Jon Cryer), Jake Harper (Angus T. Jones), Judith Harper (Marin Hinkle), and Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
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