Two and a Half Men Episode Listings

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Two and a Half Men Season 7

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
Oct 19 2009
For the Sake of the ChildPublic humiliation at the hands of Charlie and Alan has Jake refusing to stay at the beach house.39 ratings | 5 discussion topics
Oct 12 2009
Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorAlan starts working for Evelyn. Charlie tries to close the rift between Chelsea and Jake.7 ratings | 5 discussion topics
Oct 5 2009
Mmm, fish. Yum.Alan cares for Judith's child and his ex-mother-in-law. A photo Charlie would rather be kept private provides Jake with a chance to blackmail him.40 ratings | 5 discussion topics
Sep 28 2009
Whipped Unto the Third GenerationGirls rule the roost after Charlie consents to Chelsea's desire to allow Alan's girlfriend, Melissa, to move in with them.25 ratings | 5 discussion topics | 1 wall post
Sep 21 2009
818-jklpuzoCharlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.54 ratings | 5 discussion topics

Two and a Half Men Season 6

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 18 2009
Baseball Was Better With SteroidsMia's return finds Charlie questionning how devoted he is to Chelsea. The guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital.43 ratings | 21 discussion topics
May 11 2009
Good Morning, Mrs. ButterworthCharlie seeks to take advantage of Alan and Chelsea's budding friendship.33 ratings | 21 discussion topics
May 4 2009
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box38 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 7 wall posts
Apr 27 2009
Above Exalted CyclopsAlan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends—Rose.29 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 3 wall posts
Apr 13 2009
Hello, I'm Alan CousteauCharlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.41 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 8 wall posts
Mar 30 2009
The Two Finger RuleChelsea's discovery of naked pictures of another woman on Charlie's iPhone leads to his swapping stories of sexual experiences during a drunken night with Alan, Herb, and Jerome.15 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Mar 16 2009
My Son's Enormous HeadChelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.10 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Mar 9 2009
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?Charlie admits that he is in love with Chelsea.6 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Mar 2 2009
She'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeCharlie tries to get his half naked date out of his room before Chelsea arrives.7 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Feb 9 2009
I'd Like to Start with the CatCharlie and his new girlfriend go to couples counseling.49 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 5 wall posts
Feb 2 2009
David Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieMelissa wants Alan to move in with her and her mom.11 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 1 wall post
Jan 19 2009
I Think You Offended DonJudith is pregnant, and Alan suspects he's the father. Meanwhile, Jake is in a foul mood.29 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Jan 12 2009
Thank God for ScoliosisCharlie and Jake compete to win the affection of a waitress; Alan senses something between him and his receptionist. Shelly:14 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Dec 15 2008
The Devil's LubeCharlie's friend, who was also a womanizer, dies, which makes Charlie take a look at how he is living his life.31 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Dec 8 2008
He Smelled the Ham, He Got ExcitedEvelyn offers to pay for Jake's college tuition, so Alan considers retirement.10 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Nov 24 2008
The Mooch at the BooJake disappears with the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie scrambles---and fumbles---to cover for him. Meanwhile, Charlie's Mercedes helps ...moreJake disappears with the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie scrambles---and fumbles---to cover for him. Meanwhile, Charlie's Mercedes helps Alan get a hot date. 10 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 1 wall post
Nov 17 2008
Pinocchio's MouthCharlie's new flame wants him to spend the night at her place. Meanwhile, Alan attempts to impose a punishment on Jake.2 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Nov 10 2008
Best H.O. Money Can BuyCharlie and Herb look for women and Alan tries to get away from Judith.9 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Nov 3 2008
It's Always Nazi WeekHerb gets the boot, so Alan goes after Judith.10 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Oct 20 2008
A Jock Strap in HellThe guys discover that Jake's former teacher became a stripper after a fling with Charlie. Charlie tries to help her, but thing turn ugly.63 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 14 wall posts
Oct 13 2008
The Flavin' and the Mavin'Charlie makes a move on Alan's receptionist.59 ratings | 21 discussion topics | 7 wall posts
Oct 6 2008
Damn You, Eggs BenedictCharlie tries to cook, Jake tries beer, and Alan tries dating more than one woman.15 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Sep 29 2008
Pie Hole, HerbAlan crosses the line when trying to get money back that he loaned to Charlie.11 ratings | 21 discussion topics
Sep 22 2008
Taterhead Is Our Love ChildCharlie's ex has a child that has a striking resemblence to him.12 ratings | 21 discussion topics

Two and a Half Men Season 5

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 19 2008
Waiting for the Right SnapperAlan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend, and Charlie discovers that he dated his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.31 ratings | 1 discussion topic
May 12 2008
If My Hole Could TalkCharlie dates a self-help author who is much older than him, has a 32-year-old son, and treats him more like his son than his boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps ...moreCharlie dates a self-help author who is much older than him, has a 32-year-old son, and treats him more like his son than his boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps losing the book before he can read it. 2 ratings | 1 discussion topic
May 5 2008
Fish in a DrawerParody of "CSI" in which Teddy is found dead in Charlie's bed half-naked and with another woman's lipstick on him during his wedding reception, and detectives try to figure out who is the ...moreParody of "CSI" in which Teddy is found dead in Charlie's bed half-naked and with another woman's lipstick on him during his wedding reception, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer. 3 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Apr 28 2008
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyAlan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.3 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Apr 21 2008
Rough Night in Hump JunctionCharlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fianc...moreCharlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding. 1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Apr 14 2008
Winky-Dink TimeCharlie sets up Alan with a prostitute, and accompanies Jake on a double date.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Mar 31 2008
The Soil is MoistAlan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with they were married, who then tells him that Judith says that her new husband is a better lover than him.2 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Mar 24 2008
A Little Clammy and None Too FreshCharlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Mar 17 2008
Meander to Your DanderAlan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.Nothing Yet!
Nov 26 2007
Kinda Like NecrophiliaAlan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Nov 19 2007
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsCharlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.2 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Nov 12 2007
Is There A Mrs. Waffles?Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of ...moreCharlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences. 4 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Nov 5 2007
The Leather Gear Is In The Guest RoomAfter Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Oct 29 2007
Help Daddy Find His ToenailA medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Oct 22 2007
Putting Swim Fins On A CatCharlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Oct 15 2007
City Of Great RacksCharlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Oct 8 2007
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCharlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.2 ratings | 1 discussion topic
Oct 1 2007
Media Room Slash DungeonCharlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients, and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.1 rating | 1 discussion topic
Sep 24 2007
Large Birds, Spiders And MomJake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.2 ratings | 1 discussion topic

Two and a Half Men Season 4

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 14 2007
Prostitutes And GelatoIn an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evalyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.3 ratings
May 7 2007
Anteaters. They'Re Just Crazy-LookinCharlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.1 rating
Apr 30 2007
Mr. Mcglue's FeedbagWhen Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.3 ratings
Apr 23 2007
Tucked, Taped And GorgeousEveryone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.Nothing Yet!
Apr 16 2007
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee A LotAlan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.2 ratings
Apr 9 2007
Smooth As A Ken DollAlan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.2 ratings
Mar 19 2007
It Never Rains In HootervilleAlan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.3 ratings
Feb 26 2007
I Merely Slept With A CommieAfter Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody lovers her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family--which makes both of them very jealous.Nothing Yet!
Feb 19 2007
Young People Have Phlegm TooCharlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.1 rating
Feb 12 2007
My Damn StalkerAlan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.1 rating
Feb 5 2007
That's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiCharlie tries to set up Alan with her sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her ...moreCharlie tries to set up Alan with her sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself. 1 rating
Jan 22 2007
Don't Worry, Speed RacerRepressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.1 rating
Jan 8 2007
Castrating Sheep In MontanaAlan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.1 rating
Dec 11 2006
Walnuts And DemerolCharlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.2 ratings
Nov 27 2006
Kissing Abraham LincolnCharlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the ...moreCharlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo. 1 rating
Nov 20 2006
Corey's Been Dead For An HourCharlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.1 rating
Nov 13 2006
Release The DogsAfter a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's ...moreAfter a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother. 1 rating
Oct 30 2006
Repeated Blows To His Unformed HeadCharlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter and Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.1 rating
Oct 23 2006
Apologies For The FrivolityCharlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.2 ratings
Oct 16 2006
A Live Woman Of Proven FertilityWhen Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony ...moreWhen Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith. 2 ratings
Oct 9 2006
A Pot Smoking MonkeyAlan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.3 ratings
Oct 2 2006
The Sea Is A Harsh MistressIn the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.2 ratings
Sep 25 2006
Who's Vod KanockersCharlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.3 ratings
Sep 18 2006
Working For CaligulaKandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.2 ratings

Two and a Half Men Season 3

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 22 2006
That Pistol-Packin' HermaphroditeCharlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.Nothing Yet!
May 15 2006
Arguments For The QuickieMia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.1 rating
May 8 2006
Just Once With Aunt SophieJake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough ...moreJake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ... Nothing Yet!
May 1 2006
And The Plot MoistensAlan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.1 rating
Apr 24 2006
Always A Bridesmaid, Never A BurroAlan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies...moreAlan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub... Nothing Yet!
Apr 10 2006
Golly Moses, She's A MuffinThe Harpers's world is inverted: Charlie's ex Kandi, of his countless girls about the dumbest, not only became Alan's lover but even says she prefers sex with him, and has been living in Charlie's ...moreThe Harpers's world is inverted: Charlie's ex Kandi, of his countless girls about the dumbest, not only became Alan's lover but even says she prefers sex with him, and has been living in Charlie's beach-house, as unnoticed as several furniture changes, for three weeks since she was evicted. Charlie has suffered a sexual drought even longer, by now even Berta and her cousin in prison begin to look somehow attractive. Judith finds out, and is shocked Jake is exposed to such a floozy; despite his brother's warning to keep love and business apart, Alan tries her as secretary in his surgery, with even more and worse results then either could fear... 2 ratings
Mar 20 2006
The Spit-Covered CobblerAlan finally has an attractive date, 22 year-old Kandi, but she's even dumber then Jake, and as Charlie rightly points out girls that age are extremely high maintenance. Charlie has his fun seeing ...moreAlan finally has an attractive date, 22 year-old Kandi, but she's even dumber then Jake, and as Charlie rightly points out girls that age are extremely high maintenance. Charlie has his fun seeing Alan struggle with the growing pile of bills, driving him to raid Jake's mammoth piggy bank and taking a second job as pizza deliverer, but still helps his double-plucked brother when wicked ex Judith insists on alimony. Alas Kandi... 2 ratings
Mar 13 2006
The Unfortunate Little SchnauzerAt Alan's insistence and to avoid having to escort the daughter of one of ma's clients (she invited that), Charlie attends with Alan, ma and Jake the jingle awards ceremony, where he's nominated and ...moreAt Alan's insistence and to avoid having to escort the daughter of one of ma's clients (she invited that), Charlie attends with Alan, ma and Jake the jingle awards ceremony, where he's nominated and just knows Archie Baldwin will win for the seventh year in a row, because that pompous ass always gets the sexy products, a good tune for medication like Charlie's clients is never good enough to get a fair chance. He's right, and was forced by Rose -who will otherwise stalk him again- to make her adoring teenage boyfriend Gordon give her some private space again; when that works, she changes her mind... Nothing Yet!
Mar 6 2006
Ergo, The Booty CallAs Jake's twelfth birthday approaches, Alan is still smiling ear-to-ear over his sex life with 22 year-old hottie Kandi, even when he's forced to explain to his son what a "booty call" is. ...moreAs Jake's twelfth birthday approaches, Alan is still smiling ear-to-ear over his sex life with 22 year-old hottie Kandi, even when he's forced to explain to his son what a "booty call" is. Meanwhile, Jake celebrates with a sip of coffee and a handful of vitamins - or at least, that's what he assumes the blue pills in his dad's bathroom cabinet are, with the "V" imprinted. Like Berta says, he's going to need another party hat. 3 ratings
Feb 27 2006
My Tongue Is MeatForced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath...moreForced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane. 2 ratings
Feb 6 2006
Love Isn't Blind, It's RetardedAs Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Allen starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.1 rating
Jan 23 2006
Humiliation Is A Visual MediumCharlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in...moreCharlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground. 1 rating
Jan 9 2006
That Special TugAfter a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.1 rating
Dec 19 2005
Santa's Village Of The DamnedAlan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed her craziness.Nothing Yet!
Nov 28 2005
Something Salted And Twisted1 rating
Nov 21 2005
Madame And Her Special FriendCharlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.1 rating
Nov 14 2005
That Voodoo That I Do DoCharlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.1 rating
Nov 7 2005
Sleep Tight, Puddin' PopCharlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two...moreCharlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years. 1 rating
Oct 24 2005
Hi, Mr. Horned OneCharlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.1 rating
Oct 17 2005
We Called It Mr. PinkyCharlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.1 rating
Oct 10 2005
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward BoobsAlan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.2 ratings
Oct 3 2005
Carpet Burns And A Bite MarkAfter it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.3 ratings
Sep 26 2005
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverAlan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.2 ratings
Sep 19 2005
Weekend In Bangkok With Two Olympic GymnastsAfter Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.2 ratings

Two and a Half Men Season 2

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 23 2005
Does Something Smell Funny To YouJake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.1 rating
May 16 2005
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabLearning Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Charlie and Alan's mother Evelyn decrees she wants to see him more, but a week is too much trouble, he'll stay overnight. The ...moreLearning Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Charlie and Alan's mother Evelyn decrees she wants to see him more, but a week is too much trouble, he'll stay overnight. The Harper brothers give the kid a great day and toys, but he would rather give it all back then face his fashion-prone, child-hating grandma, so the price goes up- Charlie is proud of the lout, still shares in Alan's crushing sense of guilt while reminiscing what a loveless mother from hell the selfish cow always was, until the bar is swamped by beach volleyball-girls in bikinis and Charlie instantly forgets about every male on the globe. Meanwhile Evelyn learns the hard way that babysitting and feeding willful modern spoiled brat Jake is far harder then raising boys a generation earlier, and hell on an expensive interior like hers... 9 ratings
May 9 2005
That Old Hose Bag Is My MotherAlan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.3 ratings
May 2 2005
A Sympathetic Crotch To Cry OnAfter one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.Nothing Yet!
Apr 18 2005
I Always Wanted A Shaved MonkeyRose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.Nothing Yet!
Mar 21 2005
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseA freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exs.Nothing Yet!
Mar 7 2005
It Was Mame, MomCharlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?1 rating
Feb 21 2005
Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter went horribly wrong.Nothing Yet!
Feb 14 2005
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.Nothing Yet!
Feb 7 2005
Smell The Umbrella StandCharlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.1 rating
Jan 31 2005
Those Big Pink Things With CoconutEvelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.1 rating
Jan 17 2005
Zejdz Zmoich WlosowTensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.2 ratings
Jan 3 2005
A Lung Full Of AlanAn old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.2 ratings
Dec 13 2004
Last Chance To See Those TattoosCharlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.1 rating
Nov 29 2004
The Salmon Under My SweaterCharlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.2 ratings
Nov 22 2004
Yes, MonsignorCharlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.1 rating
Nov 15 2004
Frankenstein And The Horny VillagersAlan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.2 ratings
Nov 8 2004
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out In FontanaEvelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but...moreEvelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage. 2 ratings
Oct 25 2004
The Price Of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceAfter confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.2 ratings
Oct 18 2004
Bad News From The Clinic2 ratings
Oct 11 2004
Go Get Mommy's BraAfter Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented ...moreAfter Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend. 2 ratings
Oct 4 2004
A Bag Full Of JaweaAfter Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly ...moreAfter Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together. 2 ratings
Sep 27 2004
Enjoy Those Garlic BallsAlan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.1 rating
Sep 20 2004
Back Off Mary Poppins2 ratings

Two and a Half Men Season 1

EpisodeTitleDescriptionRecent Activity
May 24 2004
Can You Feel My Finger2 ratings
May 17 2004
Just Like Buffalo2 ratings
May 10 2004
My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet3 ratings
May 3 2004
No Sniffing, No Wowing1 rating
Apr 19 2004
Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark2 ratings
Mar 22 2004
I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouJudith's sister Liz comes for a visit.1 rating
Mar 1 2004
An Old Flame With A New WickCharlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.1 rating
Feb 23 2004
Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats2 ratings
Feb 16 2004
That Was Saliva, Alan1 rating
Feb 9 2004
Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick1 rating
Feb 2 2004
I Can't Afford Hyenas2 ratings
Jan 12 2004
Sara Like Puny Alan1 rating
Jan 5 2004
Camel Filters And Pheremones2 ratings
Dec 15 2003
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor2 ratings
Nov 24 2003
Merry Thanksgiving4 ratings
Nov 17 2003
Phase One, Complete1 rating
Nov 10 2003
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-Ful2 ratings
Nov 3 2003
If They Do Go Either Way They'Re Usually Fake3 ratings
Oct 27 2003
Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?2 ratings
Oct 20 2003
The Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A Hump1 rating
Oct 13 2003
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'M Going To Take A Nap3 ratings
Oct 6 2003
Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell4 ratings
Sep 29 2003
Big Flappy Bastards5 ratings
Sep 22 2003
Pilot6 ratings
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About Two and a Half Men Episodes
Watch, rate, and review the latest episode of Two and a Half Men. Watch videos of your favorite Two and a Half Men characters and actors including Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen), Alan Harper (Jon Cryer), Jake Harper (Angus T. Jones), Judith Harper (Marin Hinkle), and Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
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