Jun 12 2009 at 8:03 PM wrote
0 replies post #1
~New Dawn~
-1-
I lay in Edward’s arms as we watched the sunrise through the window of our room. Everything was so different; it seemed like it was only yesterday
that we were facing death at the hands of the Volturi
as they tried to find a cause for killing my daughter, though it’s been 4 years.
For a moment it seemed impossible that things had changed so quickly,
thanks in large part to Alice’s search for Nahuel, another half human, half vampire child.
Yet a part of me was still expecting the Volturi to return
and take everything I loved away from me.
I couldn’t help thinking this way,
I had my own opinion of the ancient ones and those were rooted inside me.
Another situation that needed some serious thought was Nahuel.
Though Edward had assured me that Nahuel’s attention was for my well being and life,
in a sense, after giving birth to Renesmee; I couldn’t help thinking that
there were more reasons behind his stares, particularly, when I had her in my arms.
I shook my head trying to remove all these thoughts from my mind.
“Nessie is safe,” I kept telling myself, and then chuckled.
It had gotten amazingly easy to grow fond of Jacob’s nickname
when I wasn’t focusing on gigantic sea serpents.
Edward was looking at me in my reverie and wrapped one arm around me comfortingly. “Are you alright?” he asked stoking my face with his free hand.
That was enough to calm me.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just can’t believe it’s really over.”
Relief pulsed through me as I spoke the words.
I remembered that everything was fine and that we were all safe.
He held me in his arms; his even breathing always soothing to me,
helped me to relax.
-2-
Suddenly there was a subtle knock at the door.
Edward smiled. “Come in Nessie” he said in a tone of absolute peace.
She came into the room then, rubbing her eyes. “Good morning Momma.
Good morning Papa” she said, and then yawned.
She had grown in the last four years; she looked closer to a pre-teen now,
and that was good news. It meant that she was nearing maturity.
She would stop growing soon and our worries would stop.
“How did you sleep Nessie?” I asked.
“Good” she replied and yawned.
Edward pressed his lips together.
“Hmm… It seems I’ll have to talk to Jacob about how he speaks around her.”
He whispered disapprovingly in my ear.
I nodded serious for one second, and then I had to stifle laughter.
I didn’t know if it was the peace I felt then,
but I couldn’t help finding the situation a little funny.
I gestured for her to come to us; she smiled and crossed the room,
and sat on the edge of the bed.
“What would you like to do today?” Edward asked me, touching my face
and then looking at Nessie.
“I’d like to visit Charlie. It feels like ages have passed since I’ve seen him.”
“Oh! Can I go? I want to see Grandpa!” she said eagerly.
Nessie was always enthusiastic when I mentioned Charlie.
She loved her grandfather so much, and Charlie was crazy about her too.
He was always eager to give her anything she wanted, as was the rest of the family.
We got him to believe that she had a rare medical condition,
which caused the rapid aging, and then we told him that
through Carlisle’s extensive tests, we knew she was stabilizing.
“We’ll all go.” Edward answered her.
I called Charlie to let him know we would be visiting him,
and he told me that Jacob was at the house too; he seemed to have
gotten over his aversion to the whole werewolf thing, Nessie would be happy to see him.
Though we could’ve walked to the house,
it wouldn’t have made Charlie comfortable to see that.
He was excepting things better than I expected,
but I didn’t want to push it and add to the stress,
so we took the Volvo and drove to the house.
As Edward knocked on the door, Nessie grabbed my hand.
“Is Jake here?” she thought excited.
“Jacob is waiting for us” I told her.
She grinned widely.
I realized, by the smell of steak and spaghetti that Sue was here,
which meant Seth was here too, Edward would be happy get to see him.
I wasn’t sure if Leah would be here; things had gotten a little easier with her,
but only just. She still had her reservations towards us, though she seemed resigned,
if not willing to make peace with us.
Nessie had made friends with her though, a surprise to everyone but me;
she had everyone wrapped around her fingers
and I knew that she at least, would be able to smooth out that rough relationship.
-3-
Charlie was at the door before we knocked; I guessed someone had given him a heads up.
He held his arms out embracing me, shook Edward’s hand,
and then held his arms out again for Nessie.
She smiled her dazzling smile and wrapped her arms around him.
“How are you Nessie?” Charlie asked her.
“I’m fine grandpa, and you?” she asked sweetly, hugging him gently.
“I’m fine thank you.” Charlie replied.
“Nessie?” Jake called yawning from the couch in the handkerchief sized living room.
She smiled widely and walked inside the house; the three of us walked in behind her.
She ran into his arms as soon as she saw him. Jacob held her tightly in his arms
so she wouldn’t hurt herself; they started laughing.
He’d spend hours with her, doing anything and everything she wanted,
and he never grew tired or bored with whatever she came up with.
-4-
“Bells” Charlie called from the living room
“Can you come here for a minute? I need to talk to you.”
Edward came with me, I didn’t understand his expression, it seemed, amused?
We went to the kitchen and found Charlie sitting on a chair with Sue at his side,
looking hesitant, she griped his hand tightly, she was nervous.
“What is it dad?” I asked suspicious, looking at Sue’s expression.
He cleared his throat. “Bella, I… we have some news for you” he said,
looking at her.
There was an awkward pause, and I noticed her taking a deep breath.
“Go on…” I encouraged.
“Congratulate us Bells, Sue and I got married.”
I smiled, they’d eloped. “I guess I’m not surprised… I’m happy for you both.”
I was happy that Charlie had found someone to share his life with,
and I was also happy for Sue moving on with her life after Harry.
I was a little hesitant when I thought about what this meant though,
having Leah as a step sister…
Seth, I had no problems with, I got along great with him, but not with Leah.
But I was resigned; as long as Charlie was happy, I couldn’t object.
I would avoid Leah as best I could, to minimize problems.
-5-
We left Charlie’s soon after, claiming a school shopping trip for Nessie, she was alight, but her face fell suddenly and she sighed
when she realized that the school story was only that.
She’d been begging us to send her to school;
she’d grown tired of the structure around her everyday. We couldn’t risk it though,
what with her speeding growth.
She was pouting all the way home.
“Nessie… I’m sorry we lied, but you know why you can’t go to school” I told her.
Nessie nodded glumly, and went to her room.
Edward and I looked at each other, we hated seeing Nessie unhappy.
Suddenly, I got an idea.
“We’re only worried because of exposure, right?” I asked deep in thought.
“Yes… what are you thinking love?” Edward asked intently.
“I was thinking…what if we sent her to the Quileute School, with Jacob and the others? There wouldn’t be a risk there because they already know.”
He pursed his lips considering. “That could work, and Jacob would look after her.”
We called Nessie into the living room; she looked like she was trying to put on an act,
but we could see that she was still upset.
-6-
“Nessie, we wanted to speak with you” I said, trying to hide my smile,
but I was not successful.
She noticed this and looked at me curiously. “Yes mom?”
I looked to Edward and he continued.
“Nessie, your mother and I have agreed that you are ready for school.”
Her eyes widened immediately, she all but screamed with delight.
“You’ll go to the Quileute High school; you’ll be with Jacob,
and the rest of your friends” he said smiling.
“High School?” she asked, warily.
“Well yes. You’re too advanced for elementary or even junior high, don’t worry,
they know you” I told her.
“Ok” she said and smiled, “I have to tell Jake!”
She ran off to the living room for the phone to call him.
* Renesmee *
-7-
“Hey Billy, is Jacob there?” I asked excited.
“Yeah, I’ll get him.”
He came to the phone quickly. “Nessie, what is it,
Billy said you sounded excited about something.”
“I am excited; mom and dad told me the greatest news. I can go to school, Jake!”
“That’s great Ness; where are they sending you?”
“That’s the best part; they’re enrolling me in the Quileute high school!”
“You’re kidding! I can’t believe it…”
“It’s true! I couldn’t believe it myself at first,
but they’re telling the truth, I know it.” I said fervently.
“Well, that’s awesome; I can’t wait to have you here!”
I blushed, but didn’t understand why; my maturity must be tied to all aspects of my life, emotional as well as physical.
But that still didn’t explain why I felt this way. Jacob’s always been there for me,
but it was as my protector, my best friend.
Suddenly, I felt a whole new range of emotions, or was it only one emotion, so intense,
that it felt like many.
I understood love like I felt for my parents; pure, and thankful.
This love I felt for Jacob, felt pure too, but I also felt need entangled with it,
a need to always be at his side.
“Ok, well that’s my big news; I have to go now Jake, I’ll talk to you later ok?” I said, hurrying to get off the phone.
“Ok, talk to you later.”
I hung up with him and went to my room.
-8-
I felt too embarrassed to talk with my mother about it,
so I decided to talk with my aunts instead.
But knowing that Aunt Rose and Jake weren’t on the best terms;
I went straight to Aunt Alice.
“What is it Nessie, you look sick, are you ok?” she asked me.
I felt sick, but in a good way, like butterflies were fluttering in my stomach.
“I need to tell you something, Aunt Alice” I said, looking at my hands.
She frowned. “What’s wrong Nessie?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just… I think I’m in love.” I said in a hushed voice.
“What, with whom?” she asked in a tone that confused me.
It should have sounded worried or concerned, but it sounded strangely… curious?
“Um…” I took a deep breath. “Jacob.”
She gasped, and then I knew I’d made a mistake.
“Nessie, I can’t say that I knew this would happen, but I did have a feeling.
You and Jake have been inseparable from the very beginning;
did you talk with your mom about it?”
“No, I don’t know how to tell her, or dad… Help me tell them Aunt Alice, please?”
I begged her.
She smiled; she was happy to be in on a secret. “Sure, I’ll help… Wait!” she said.
“What?”
-9-
“Does Jacob know, have you told him?” she asked excited.
“No, he doesn’t know, and I don’t think I’ll tell him.” I replied with sudden sadness.
“Why not?” she asked warily.
“Because… he’s not interested in me, I’m like a sister to him.” I told her,
and it surprised me how much it affected me, there were tears in my eyes now.
She hesitated and then said “Nessie, you need to know something,
Have you ever heard of imprinting?”
“Yes. I heard mom say once that Jake told her it was like love at first sight,
but what does that have to do with anything?” I said, wiping the tears away
with the back of my hand.
“Well, when you were a baby… Jake imprinted on you.”
I gasped and then fell silent; I didn’t know what to say.
“Nessie, are you ok? Maybe I shouldn’t have told you…”
“No, thank you for telling me.”
I was shocked; I didn’t know what to say. Jake imprinted on me?!
I wanted an explanation about this, and I was going to get it from him.
I decided to go to his house to talk to him.
-10-
I got to the house soon; I walked pretty fast, and heard him coming to the door.
I was too confused to put my usual smile on my face.
When he opened the door, I realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his body was wet,
and his hair was loose and glistening from his shower.
I gasped; I’d never seen him like this, I had to concentrate to keep from falling down.
“Hey Nessie, what’s up, are you ok?” he asked.
“I’m fine; I just need to talk to you.” I said, distracted by his midnight eyes.
“Well, come in then” he told me smiling.
We went to his living room and sat on the sofa.
“Do you want something to drink?” he asked me.
“Yes, some water please.”
I didn’t really like water, but I needed something to calm me down.
He went to the kitchen and got two glasses, and set one in front of me.
“Thanks” I said and then blushed when our fingers touched around the glass.
“So, I hear I have a new schoolmate” he said smiling.
“Yes, my parents told me just a little while ago, I’m very excited.”
“I’m glad, though I don’t know what the big deal is, school is really boring.”
I laughed, and then I remembered why I’d come here, I needed answers.
“Um Jake, I have to ask you about something.”
“Yeah?”
“See, I was talking with Aunt Alice, and she told me something that surprised me.”
“What’d she say?” he asked with strong curiosity.
“She… told me that you imprinted on me?”
He became still then, and stopped breathing.
-11-
“Jake?” I asked, nudging him.
“It’s true Nessie, I imprinted on you when you were a baby.
I talked it over with Bella and Edward, and decided that I would wait for you,
till you could make your own decision about me,
in being just a friend or something more.”
I gasped; this was a lot to take in. “I don’t know what to say Jake.”
He became thoughtful then.
“What is it?” I asked trying to figure out his expression.
“Nothing”
“Then why do you look sad, is it anything I can help with?”
“You could…” he said looking into my eyes.
“How… tell me” I said, loosing myself in his eyes again.
He scooted closer to me on the sofa then;
I could feel his even breathing, and my heart, beating so fast,
that I couldn’t even count out the beats.
He leaned in, placing his lips on mine, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I jumped at first, but then, as he began to kiss me, I felt myself relax.
-12
Kissing him felt natural to me; the heat that rolled off him didn’t bother me at all,
it felt comfortable, and I felt safe and protected in his arms.
Soon though… too soon, we had to stop to catch our breath.
I looked at him; his cheeks were flushed, and I felt like mine were too.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.
“I am not apologizing for kissing you”
“I wasn’t asking for an apology” I said breathless “I was going to ask
where that came from…”
He looked into my eyes then. “I’ve always loved you Ness, you know that.
But I’ve had to wait for you to be ready for me to be in your life
as more than just a nanny…”
We laughed, though I didn’t think his suffering for so long was funny;
first with my mom, and now with me…
But there is a big difference between the two;
I loved him, more than a brother or a friend.
“So… what happens now?” I asked after a while.
“Hmm… we should probably tell everybody.”
I stiffened; I knew most of them would accept this, maybe even be happy about it,
but I wasn’t so sure about the rest of my family.
He took my hand then and held it tightly. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
I relaxed a little, and then we walked to my house.
-13-
We took our time as we walked; the forest felt peaceful and quiet,
but I still had my worries in the back of my mind.
I took a deep breath as we reached the cottage; suddenly, I had a bad feeling.
Mom met us at the door; her face lit up when she saw the expression on Jacob’s face,
he looked like he’d just won a lottery.
“Bella, Edward… we have some news for everybody” Jacob said with a huge grin.
“Well, what are you waiting for, get in here!” mom said excited.
I laughed.
Everyone was already in the living room, waiting for the news.
We sat in the sofa, mom at my side, and dad came to Jacob’s, showing their support.
“Ok, so, we have some news for everyone.” I said.
The room went silent; I saw faces of anticipation, of excitement,
and of total disapproval too.
“It’s happened, ladies and gentlemen, she loves me” Jacob declared, and I smiled.
The looks on their faces were priceless;
like we’d just given them the best news ever, all but one.
Aunt Rose, who’d been standing by the door, left then; the look on her face
was a mixture of disappointment and determination,
she was planning something, I knew it, I just didn’t know what that was,
but it couldn’t be anything good, not with that look in her eyes.
Mom and dad looked at me then, with satisfied expressions. “We’re happy for you both.”
“Thanks guys” Jacob said, smiling hugely.
“Yes, thanks mom, thanks dad… but where did Aunt Rose go?”
“Aww… who knows, but she’ll be fine; the girl can take care of herself.”
Uncle Emmet said.
“Yeah…” Aunt Alice chimed in. “Except for the fact that she just disappeared;
I can’t see her anymore.”
That wasn’t good; no one tried to even guess what she was up to.
We just gave up, guessing that she’d come back when she wanted to.
-14-
The fact that she left alone was a reassurance; she’d never leave Uncle Emmet behind,
if she wanted to leave permanently, she’d have taken him with her.
This whole situation had taken a lot out of me, so I told mom
I’d be in my room resting for a while.
When I got to my room, I noticed a folded piece of paper on my dresser.
Renesmee
JACOB?! Why? I can’t just stand by and let you mess your life up like this.
I have to make you see sense; I’ll be back as soon as I can.
I love you
Aunt Rose
I looked at the letter, over and over again, trying to guess what she meant
about making me see sense.
I went to mom then, and showed her the note.
She showed it to everyone, and they all wondered about what Aunt Rose could be doing.
The days passed and we still hadn’t heard anything from her.
Esme started to worry, as did Uncle Emmet, but he worried only a little.
“Where do you think she could be?” Esme asked Carlisle.
“I don’t know, but I’m sure she’s alright. Rosalie is strong enough to handle anything”
he replied.
-15-
I was getting even more worried now.
Everyone encouraged me to forget about the situation, for at least a couple of hours;
Jake agreed.
“Come on, let’s get out of here, come to my house” he told me smiling.
I couldn’t resist him when he smiled; I agreed, and we headed to La Push in the Rabbit.
“Leah’s at the house, she let me know she’d be stopping by to visit.”
“That’s great! It feels like ages since I’ve seen her.”
Leah and I had become great friends, despite her rocky relationship with my mom.
“Hey Leah!” I called when we got to the house, I was happy to see her.
“Hey Nessie!” she said and then came and hugged me.
“I have the best news Leah; my parents are letting me come to your school!”
“That’s great Ness, but aren’t you missing something?” she asked
and then looked between Jake and me expectantly.
“Oh! Sorry…” I said and laughed.
Leah had seen what happened between Jake and me, I blushed.
“Yeah Leah; Nessie and I are a couple now, there, are you happy?” he told her
and then smiled at me.
She beamed. “Absolutely; it’s about time!” she said and we all laughed.
“What’s all the excitement about?” Billy called coming down the hall.
“Hey Billy” I said.
“Hey Nessie, so, what’s going on?”
“Well… Jake and I are officially a couple.” I said, holding Jake’s hand.
Billy smiled.
“That’s great kids; I hope you know I’m pullin’ for you.”
“Thanks Billy” I said smiling.
“Yeah, thanks dad”
The hours sped by and soon it was time for me to be headed home.
-16-
Jake drove; I loved being in his car, the roar of its engine was comforting to me.
When we got to my house, he got out of the car too.
“Still not tired of me yet?” I asked and laughed.
He looked at me incredulous. “How could I ever get tired of you? I love you.”
“I love you too” I said and started to kiss him.
Then we heard someone clear her throat; my aunt was back.
“Hey Aunt Rose” I said, a little embarrassment in my tone.
“Hello Renesmee” she said in a severe tone from what she’d seen.
Suddenly, I saw someone in the trees. “Who’s there?” I called to the person.
“It’s no one” she said evasively.
Jacob growled under his breath and I knew something was wrong.
“Come on, let’s get inside” she told me, grabbing my arm
and looking at Jake like he wasn’t invited.
I looked at him, trying to free my arm from her grip.
“It’s ok Nessie, I’ll come back tomorrow” he told me sweetly,
but I could tell that something was bothering him.
“Ok, I love you”
“I love you more” he said and I smiled.
“Come on Renesmee” Aunt Rose said in a frustrated tone, pulling me by my arm,
and not even looking in his direction.
I got one last glimpse of him as he got in his car and drove away.
-17-
“Aunt Rose, what is your problem?” I asked angrily,
ripping my arm from her hands, when we were inside.
“I don’t have a problem, Renesmee” she said evasively.
“It’s Nessie” I said stubbornly.
“I call you by your real name, Renesmee; Nessie is just a stupid nickname.”
“It’s not stupid, Jacob gave me that name” I said defensive.
“I rest my case,” she said waving her hand dismissively.
“but that’s not important right now; I ran into an old friend of yours while I was away…” she said and smiled.
“An old friend?” I asked confused.
“Yes, you remember Nahuel, don’t you?”
“You went looking for him?!” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes, I did. I told you, I have to make you see sense.”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that?!”
Suddenly, mom, dad and everyone else was outside.
“What’s going on here?” dad asked. “What’s with all the shouting?”
“Nothing, Renesmee and I were just having a discussion” she said composed.
I ran into mom’s arms then, and started crying from the anger I felt.
“What’s wrong Nessie?” she asked, trying to comfort me; but I pulled away from her.
I walked off inside the house, too angry to even speak to anyone;
I went straight to my room.
Even though I tried my hardest not to hear them talking, I still could.
-18-
“Nahuel, what are you doing here?” dad asked.
“Rosalie said that there was a problem with Renesmee
and asked if I could come and help.”
“Help with what?” mom asked then, eyeing Aunt Rose.
There was a short silence then.
“Rosalie, you didn’t…” dad said.
“I had to do something; she’s getting in too deep with the dog!”
“Rosalie” Esme reproached.
“No, I won’t apologize for helping her” Aunt Rose said defensively.
I buried my head in my pillows, trying to drown out the conversation.
Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door.
“Can I come in?” Aunt Alice asked, looking through the door.
I nodded, wiping tears from my eyes.
She sat down next to me and put her arm around me comfortingly.
“How can I help, Nessie?”
“Could you try talking some sense into Aunt Rose?” I asked sarcastically,
I knew no one could do that, not even Uncle Emmet…
“Yeah… try asking for something that’s actually possible” she said,
echoing my thoughts.
“I love him Aunt Alice; I love Jake with all my heart. I can’t be apart from him…”
I said and started to cry.
“Nessie, no one ever said you had to listen to Rosalie” she said, shaking her head
“she’s just operating on a prejudice toward the wolves, but that doesn’t mean
she can force you to do anything you don’t want to, she’s not your mother.
Come on, I’ll take you out for some ice cream, what do you say?”
I smiled and agreed, no for the ice cream, but for the chance to get out of the house.
“And we’ll pick Jake up too” she mouthed, so Aunt Rose couldn’t hear; I grinned widely.
-19-
When we got outside, Aunt Rose was right behind us and Esme was behind her.
“And where are you two going?” Aunt Rose asked furious.
“I’m taking Nessie out for some ice cream.” Aunt Alice answered coolly.
Aunt Rose looked at me suspiciously then.
“Rosalie…” Esme said reproving, and Aunt Rose let out a sigh of frustration.
Aunt Alice grinned victorious at me, and I smiled hugely at her.
Suddenly Nahuel appeared. “Hello Renesmee”
“Hello Nahuel, how are you?” I asked distracted, I was thinking of meeting Jacob,
that’s all I wanted to do right now; Aunt Alice was already in her car.
“I’m fine thank you, and you?”
“I’m fine thanks, in a bit of a hurry though” I said, anxious to be gone already.
“Your going to meet the wolf?” he asked.
“It’s none of your business, but yes, so if you’ll excuse me…” I said moving past him.
“Wait” he said and grabbed my arm “don’t be mad, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Alright, but let me go please” I said, but he didn’t listen to me.
“Renesmee, you should listen to your aunt, the wolf is not one of us.”
As he said this, his grip on my arm got tighter. “Ouch, you’re hurting me!”
-20-
“Let go of her.” Jacob said, coming out from the trees.
His voice sounded threatening; I’d never heard him talk like that before…
Nahuel released me and I ran into Jacob’s arms.
I didn’t know why, but I started crying as soon as I reached him.
“It’s ok Nessie, I’m here” he whispered to me soothingly.
“I’m sorry” I told him and then I felt a pain in my arm as I was hugging him,
he felt me stiffen and took my arm to look at it.
“You jerk, you hurt her” he said through his teeth.
Nahuel came forward suddenly; he reached for me but then fell back,
with a look of regret in his eyes.
“It’s fine Nahuel; you didn’t mean for this to happen…” I said, through my teeth
and clutching my arm closer to me.
Aunt Alice came to us then. “What’s going on here?” she asked,
eyeing Nahuel suspiciously and that was weird, she got along with everybody…
“What’s wrong?” she asked, looking at me.
“Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry Alice” Nahuel said, but his tone sounded worried.
I looked at him annoyed.
“Ok…” she said, but from the look on her face, I could tell she didn’t believe him.
“We’ll be inside in a minute” I told her.
She nodded to me and walked inside.
“Nahuel, what exactly do you want?” I asked irritated.
“I just want to talk to you” he said innocently.
“Ok… let’s talk” I said, planting my feet on the ground.
“I was hoping we could speak privately”
“Fine” I said, still irritated.
Jacob looked at me suddenly, and I touched his cheek.
“I’ll only be a few minutes, and maybe after this he’ll leave us alone” I said and smiled.
I didn’t know if it’d be that easy, but it was worth a try.
-21-
Jacob left then, with an uneasy expression on his face, and I looked at Nahuel.
“Ok, you got what you wanted, now what is it?” I asked rudely, but I didn’t care.
“Please, don’t be angry. I came here as a favor to your aunt,
not to make you uncomfortable.”
I sighed; I could never stay mad at anyone, even if they deserved it a little.
“Ok, what did you want to say to me?”
“Renesmee, I don’t think the wolf is a good idea…”
“That’s none of your business Nahuel,
I love Jacob and I don’t care who has a problem with that.”
“Your aunt was right, you are headstrong.”
“I have to go now” I said irritated, and he grabbed my arm again.
I looked at him incredulous.
-22-
“Don’t go, I’m sorry I hurt you before”
I sighed “What do you want Nahuel?”
He came closer to me then and I wasn’t expecting it.
“Renesmee, I would like you to consider me as part of your life.”
I was dumbstruck. “What?”
“From the moment I met you 4 years ago, I’ve wanted to be near you,
but I didn’t understand why.
When your aunt came to find me and told me that you needed me,
it all became clear, every strange emotion, every thought,
and I knew I should come to see you.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, though deep down I knew,
I just couldn’t believe it.
“I don’t know, I don’t understand this emotion; it’s not like the love I feel for Huilen,
it’s stronger.”
“You love me?” I gasped. “Nahuel, I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, but I love Jacob,
and he loves me. I would never hurt him that way; it would kill him and me too.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?” he asked in a resentful tone.
That did it, I was furious. “Listen, I’m sorry that I can’t return your feelings,
but don’t say things like that about Jacob, unless you want to loose my friendship too.”
I walked off then, and I didn’t care that I left him alone.
All I felt was the need to find Jake, to see his face and feel his arms around me.
I started running then; I felt that, the sooner I saw his face, the better.
-23-
Then I remembered the cell phone my parents had given me for my birthday
and smiled as I pulled it out.
Thankfully, Jake was the one to answer. “Hello?”
“Hey Jake, I’m coming over ok?”
“Sure” he replied in a defeatist tone.
I hated that I’d made him feel that way. I ran as fast as I could; wanting to see Jake helped me move my feet faster, even though I was getting tired.
Usually, I looked around me as I ran through the forest; it was so green and lively,
but right now, all I wanted was to reach Jake’s house.
As I ran, I felt butterflies in my stomach, I was nervous.
When I got to the red barn house, the butterflies multiplied by the millions,
and the hairs on my arms raised as I reached for the door bell.
He answered on the first ring,
the expression on his face looked like he was going to be sick;
I couldn’t resist wrapping my arms around him.
It took a minute, but I felt him wrap his arms around me, and bury his face in my hair.
He invited me inside, and then I hugged him again.
I felt him trembling and I had to look up at him.
“Jake?” I asked, putting my hands on his face.
“I won’t give you up Ness, I can’t” he said intently.
“No one said you had too” I said, touching his cheek.
He came closer to me then, tugged a stray strand of hair behind my ear
and wrapped his arms tightly around me.
The heat was everywhere, I felt as it brightened my cheeks.
-24-
His lips crushed mine with an urgency that I’d never felt before.
One arm stayed locked around my waist, while the other, knotted in my hair.
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, never wanting to let him go.
The room around me was spinning, and as I began to loose my footing,
he held me tighter in his arms.
“Are you ok?” he said, gasping.
“I’m just a little dizzy, that’s all” I said, gasping too.
He smiled and put his lips to mine again, after a while he picked me up in his arms
and started carrying me, but I didn’t know where.
He lowered me gently onto a bed; his scent was everywhere here,
and I realized we were in his room.
“Jake…” I said, finally able to break free from his lips and trying to control my breathing.
He stopped abruptly. “I’m sorry Nessie, I thought I could control myself” he said breathing hard; the sound made me blush.
He put his hand on my cheek. “We don’t have to think about this now;
you know I only want to make you happy. I’ll go along with whatever you decide.”
His voice sounded huskier than usual, the sound of it gave me goose bumps.
“Can I ask for some time?” I said; though it was last thing I wanted.
“Whatever you want Ness” he said and smiled, though I could tell it was half hearted.
I nestled myself in his arms, and soon feel asleep.
-25-
When I awoke, the sun was setting, I sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, touching my face, I smiled.
“It’s getting late, I should get back home.” I said reluctantly.
Jake smiled at my tone. “Ok, I’ll take you home.”
He grabbed a leather jacket and a blanket from his closet.
When we got outside, he put his jacket on, and then wrapped the blanket around me;
I smiled.
