Eric: I texted you three times. You didn't respond.
Bill: I hate having to use the number keys to type.

Cho: What's your game?
Bill: Excuse me?
Cho: You were playing Wii. What's you're game?
Bill: Golf.
Cho: What's your best score on Pebble Beach?
Bill: 7 under.
Cho: Mine's 11 under.
Bill: I... more

B: I'm not Eric

J: You are soo not Eric.

Oh, but you have many other very juicy arteries. There's one in the groin that's a particular favorite of mine.

Arlene's daughter: Bill, why can't you have ice cream?
Bill: You might say that I'm lactose intolerant.
Arlene's son: Just like my Aunt Fern. Except she don't tolerate Mexicans.

Bill: You're connected. He'll be to sense your emotions

Sookie: No! No! (Turning to Eric) You big lying a-hole.

Eric: Bill I think you're right. I think I can sense her emotions

Bill: Uh oh.
Sookie: Don't say 'Uh oh'. Vampires are not supposed to say 'Uh oh'.

Bill Compton: Jessica, stop!

Jessica: No!

Bill Compton: Stop!
[pulls her down on a rock]

Jessica: Why?

Bill Compton: Because we need to talk.

Jessica: Why?

Bill Compton: Because... more

Eric: I hope you enjoy your blood substitute it just cost me 45 dollars.

Bill:Oh I have no intention of drinking it, I just wanted you to pay for it.

Eric: You're so mature.

Eric: Has she, uh...mentioned me?

Bill: No. That was really quite desperate of you. Tricking her into drinking your blood so she became attracted to you.

Eric: Unlike you, who fed her your... more