Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.

Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly]... more

Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With... more

Mr. Burns: Why is everyone being so insolent today?
Smithers: It is Christmas, Sir.
Mr. Burns: I say when it's Christmas.

Well, that hurt like hell.

hello ...Smithers... you're quite good ..at turning ..me ..on

Man: I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but I must object. This Simpson is not qualified!
Burns: I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball,... more

... Simpson EH!

Release the hounds...

I haven't seen this many drugs in a wang since I ran a Chinese opium den.