Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

Ned Flanders: How do you do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says "Think"?
Homer: You mean Lisa?

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Save me, Jeebus.

Bart: Woah! God is so in your face!
Homer: Yeah, he's my favorite fictional character.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Homer no function beer well without.

Homer: What the hell are we going to do with 10,000 angel ashtrays?
Bart: I could take up smoking.
Homer: You damn well better.

oh why do we have to go out, anyway. We'll just end up back here!