Between you, me, and my golf clubs, they [Chiropractors] are miracle workers.

Ralph:I'm pedalling backwards!

I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

When something is hard to do its not worth doing at all

Marge: Homer?
Homer: Yelloh?
Marge: There's a man here who thinks he can help you.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.

I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money.

As a vegetarian, I did not eat any tainted burgers. And as a convenience store owner, I'm armed to the teeth.

Well of course everything looks bad if you remember it, Marge

Mr Burns: Ah Smithers! How did the beating go?
Smithers: Eh...Sir there...was no beating.
Mr Burns: What?! Why ever not?
Smithers: There was no beating because...I cancelled it.
Mr Burns (thunder... more

Marge Simpson: There are only 49 stars on that flag.
Abe Simpson : I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before i recognize missoura!