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"Yeah, that's how we had the girls, great sex....Amy was conceived on a surfboard and Ashley was conceived on a grave at midnight!"

--Mark Derwin as George Juergens

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[after Amy tells him that she's pregnant]
Amy Juergens: I'm such a whore.
Ben Boykewich: Yes, but you're my whore.

--Shaileine Woodley as Amy Juergens

--Kenny Baumann as Ben Boykewich

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Anne Juergens "Come on, you're going to be late for school"
"At least I won't be late for my period"

--India Eisley as Ashley Juergens

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Customers in your store heard I was having sex? And how would they know I was having sex? The only person who would know is me... and my lover.