Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Everyone: What? Where? When?
Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the... more

Jim: [Dressed as Dwight] It's kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That's better. [exhales] Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black... more

Pam Beesly: You mean leaves as in dies? You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans funeral?
Michael Scott: If the devil were to explode and evil were gone forever what sort of party would you have?

Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be throwing a bird funeral? You never can tell what your day here is gonna turn into.

Michael Scott: Get me Armani.
Pam Beesly: A suit?
Michael Scott: On the phone!
Pam Beesly: Like the main company number 'cause I'm going to have to call information--
Michael Scott: Where's... more

This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

Michael Scott: And, even though we're still a family here at Dunder-Mifflin, families grow. And, at some point, the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management, and it would... more

Finally, I want to thank God. Because God gave me this Dundee. And I feel God at this Chili’s tonight.

Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just... more

Michael: All right here we go, this is going to be fun, ready. All right first name is Tom-
Jan: No no no, no names, no names, no rhyming, no soundalikes.
Michael: All right, Okay, okay, you're... more