Dumbass! If you ever do that again, I'll kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!!

You morons just put vacancy signs on your asses and my foot is looking for a room.

And you're about to read a book that my foot wrote, it's called "On the road to in your ass"

When my time comes I want to be buried face down, so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass!

(After Eric has dropped a bowling ball on the couch and broken the TV) Why would you drop a bowling ball onto the couch? What good could come of it?

If i were a bird id fly into a celing fan

That's a Vista Cruiser! You could literally, cruuuuuuuise the vistas!

You know, there is a time and a place to pull down a ladies pants. And a pick up game in our driveway is not one of them.

I'll be watching the news, and if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches fire... X is going to equal me kicking your ass!

Look, there is no damn D in America!