Hyde: They should've X-rayed your head at the hospital.
Kelso: They did. And for your information, they found nothing.

Donna: Kelso, you own a shirt that says 'I'm with stupid' with an arrow pointing upward.
Kelso: Yeah, I hate that shirt, it doesn't make any sense! Seriously, who's above me?

KELSO: Okay, fine. I was at the academy when the auditorium burned down, but it totally wasn't my fault. See, I got there early to practice with my flare gun 'cause I wanted to show Brooke an actual... more

Nothing in this house is cheap"
"Laurie's cheap!"
"I'm not cheap!"
"Free, whatever.

Forman, you should write a book..."Things My Dad Threatened to Put Up My Ass"....Chapter 1: His foot.

What's in the bag?" - Red
"If you mean paprika than yes Sir!" - Kelso
"Honey, paprika is red." - Kitty
"If you mean green paprika than yes Sir! Hyde, what's the spice... more

Red: What's going on?
Kelso: Nothing. Just a classic case of Hand-Stuck-In-Vase.
Red: Well, if you don't get your hand out of there, you're gonna have a classic case of Foot-Stuck-In-Ass.

Kitty: What is wrong with you!? Were you dropped on your head!

Kelso: Yes! I was! And up until now everyone had the good grace not to mention it!

Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Steven Hyde: Fezzy, man... Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.

Hey, There's a truck pullin' up to the cabin... Oh, it's Red! - Steven Hyde

Is it a firetruck? - Michael Kelso