Maybe the two of us, working at full capacity, can do the job of one normal man.

It's not a lie if you believe it.

Jerry : How many times do we have to celebrate that someone was born ? Every year, over and over... All you did was not die for twelve months.

You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up.
No more soup for you. Neeeeext!

A woman's body is a work of art. A man's body is a utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep.

Let me understand. You've got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?

♪"Believe it or not George isn't at home please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not I'm not home!"♪

Jerry: Your crazy!
Kramer: Am I? Or am I SO SANE it just blew your mind!?

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Not that there is anything wrong with that