Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions... more

Elaine: We went out for dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to his apartment, yada, yada, yada, I never saw him again.
Jerry: But you yada yada-ed over the best part.
Elaine: No, I... more

Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Kramer: Well people kept ringing the bell!

Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?
Car Rental Assistant: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here, that's why you have... more

Are you Master of your Domain?"
"I am King of the County. You?"
"Lord of the Manor."
"I'm Queen of the castle!

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!

Jerry : How many times do we have to celebrate that someone was born ? Every year, over and over... All you did was not die for twelve months.

ELAINE: So basically what you say is 95% of the population is undatable?
JERRY: UNDATABLE!!!
ELAINE: So how are all these people getting together?
JERRY: Alcohol.

Maybe the two of us, working at full capacity, can do the job of one normal man.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.

Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.