This is the reason why your headache didn't go away: That's actually pronounced analgesic, not anal-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.

Christopher? You only call me Christopher when you're mad or when we're having sex... Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?

Dr. Miller accused me of being sexist. Me! I'm marrying Carla - who do you think wears the pants? And the shirts... and the shoes... and sometimes my underwear.

You know, I love how kids of divorce swear they have the market cornered on family dysfunction. But let me share with you a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household. It starts with my mother... more

I'm a man, and men do not carry around a purse!

Turk are you naked?"
[in high-pitched voice] "Yeah, how'd you know?"
"Because your voice is always high when you're naked"
"Yeah that's true!!"
[Dr. Cox] I... more

Yeah Rowdy, hit that!

Carla: Fine, you can't live with Elliot, but you're not living with us so get your crap out by Friday.
J.D.: Friday? Friday's my birthday. I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our... more

Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body.
Turk: What?
Dr. Cox: Do you understand the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby,... more

Turk, can you stop putting your boxers in the freezer? I'm tired of my popsciles tasting like fabric softener!"
"Sorry Dude, but I like my bad boys cold,... more