Jordan: You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually, I love Cox.
Todd: [walks up, knocks on table] Greatest... more

Turk: How do you know sign language?
Janitor: Well, when I was in high school I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers to sell for pens when I... more

Dr.Cox: Dumbass says what?
The Todd: What?
Dr. Cox: What I said was dumbass says what.
The Todd: What?

Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots you naughty, naughty girl.

Carla: "Ooooh Anaconda, yeah that's the one with the giant snake!"

Todd: *pops out from behind the desk* "No, THIS is the one with the giant snake!" *points to his crotch*

Todd, do you have an extra large tounge depresser?"
"Sorry Carla, I'm all out."
"How did he not just say'yeah in my pants?'

Todd: Cyber Five!
[Gives Turk a High-Five.]
Todd: Send!

I have to go, there's a breast reduction on the fourth floor... I'm gonna go try and stop it.

Turk: They call me The Candyman cause my moves are so sweet!

Todd: Yeah! And they call me The Pig cause I say sexist and deragatory things to women!

Turk: Dude, couple's therapy is killing me.
Todd: Yeah, having sex in front of a guy with a camera is tough:
Turk: Todd, thats not couple's therapy.
Todd: Then what did I do?
Turk: Amateur... more