[after J.D. and Turk hug]
Ted: "I need one of those."
J.D.: "A hug?"
Ted: "No, a black friend. I think it would make me much cooler."

Kelso: Let's go Tom

Ted: Actually, it´s Ted, but hey it´s only been 12 years

There you are you deaf bastard I hate you so much every time you utter my name I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it.

Ted I can hear now.

Who's Ted?

We don't just rock together...we roll together. Cool Cats.

JD:She started to hyperventilate, and she started to reach of what she thought was oxygen, but actually turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics. Then she screamed out "I'll kill you... more

Boing, Flip!

Ted: 312 times 481.... SIR IT'S NOT GIVING ME THE ANSWER!

Dr Kelso: It's a typewritter you jackass

JD(Talking about a patient):She started to hyperventilate and uh she started to reach of what she thought was oxygen but actually turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics. Then she... more

Ted we found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples"
"IF I CANT BE HAPPY WHY SHOULD THEY?

Oh, yeah! Suck it bitch! I will murder you!!!