Appeltini easy on the tini
Bartender: No, problem lady

I think we should sex each other.

Don't listen to him! He's drunk on cheese!

Elliot: My life is a mess!
J.D.: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute?
Carla: She's... more

The interesting thing is she's not saying "That's so sad...", she's actually crying.

JD(Talking about a patient):She started to hyperventilate and uh she started to reach of what she thought was oxygen but actually turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics. Then she... more

Turk: "So, what do you think?"
J.D.: Oh my god, it's beautiful. But my parent's will kill me if I marry a black guy..."

Dr. Cox: Just a real nice helmet, there, princess.

J.D.: Actually, it's not a helmet, it's a Hairmet -- it has extra room so you don't mess up your hairdo.

Dr. Cox: Fair enough. I'm gonna go... more

He's married so it's strictly procreation sex, his wife is throwing her legs in the air because they're trying for a boy.... Like Jesus

as I gangster leaned down the hallway in the rad new wheels i found near the dumpster...