[ J.D. standing next to Keith, both of them shirtless]
"You think you're better than me? With your rock hard abs and your dynamite areolas?"

JD: "Then you have to find a surgeon to do the work pro bono"
Todd: "Dude I've had a pro bono like all morning. Something might be wrong five!"

Janitor: How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a life-long Cubs fan, or being born without lips?
J.D.: Born without lips.
Janitor: I know a guy. His house just burned... more

Thanks a latte

Dr. Cox: "That was a close one, wasn't it? Thank goodness your big brave man-friend was here. Sam, I want to be real clearabout this; that's your daddy, not your mommy."
J.D.: "How... more

I'm crazy about you and I want you to know that if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world or just sitting home with you, eating a pizza, watching a crappy t.v. show... I... more

I would invite her over to my place but my porch has become a hang out spot for older gay men... I tried the hose on them... but they just liked it

J.D.: I guess when you care about someone, you'll do whatever you can to make 'em happy.

Turk: You are like school in July
JD: What do u mean, school in July?
Turk: No Class

Y'know Jamie, there are a lot of ways to grieve... but last time I checked, wheelbarrow-style wasn't one of them.