Cool, Mr. Rabinowitz just kicked it! Oh don't worry, he put his peep in an electrical socket. You can't do that.

Does this hat make me look flyeth. It jingles when I shake it.

J.D.: Now we can save that dad dying thing to go see the new baby panda at the zoo.
Turk: Oh, its too late for that, she died.
J.D.: Not Ming Ming!
Turk: Yeah, her mama sat on her, and then ate... more

J.D.: That guy looks fantastic. What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes?

J.D.: What are you doing?
Dr. Cox: This is my new imaginary warning light. Whenever it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds to resolve itself before I flash white with rage and kill... more

J.D.: Wow. You look amazing.
Elliot: Even in cookie pants?
J.D.: Especially in cookie pants

Dr Cox: That dosn't look right.
J.D. : What, what is it?
Dr Cox: You have a penis, or thats what i think it is.
J.D. :Its a penis.

J.D.: If you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung.
Elliot: J.D...
J.D.: So's your face.
Elliot: That doesn't even make any sense.
J.D.: 'So's your face' always makes sense.
Carla:... more

(after Julie walks in)
JD: Damn!
TURK: Damn!
CARLA: Damn! ...what, she's hot.
JD: No, that's hot.
TURK: Baby, you know that fantasy I have about you, me, and a player to be named later?
CARLA:... more

Carla: Guys, listen, we really need to help Elliot.

Turk: Baby, she said she doesn't want to be helped.

Carla: If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't... more