He's coding. Get me a box of kittens stat! (To the tv) Side effects of kittens include sneezing, tiny scratches and erectile dysfunction.

Turk: It sounds like you're asking me out on a man date.
J.D.: Turk why are you so afraid of loving me?

JD:She started to hyperventilate, and she started to reach of what she thought was oxygen, but actually turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics. Then she screamed out "I'll kill you... more

JD: "Sticks and stones may break my bones!"
JD's inner monologue: but words will hurt forever...

J.D.: (Inspecting the Janitor's penis after seeing a possible melanoma) Well, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign.

Janitor: Benign... Nine and a half...

Jell-O is for winners...

Dr. Cox-"Each and every one of you is going to kill a patient. You will screw up, they will die, and it will be burned into your concience forever. Heck, take pee-pants here, he might just get... more

Cox: Ask Betty why he's such a girly girl.
Elliot: Not now.
Cox: Do it now. Do it now. Call her Betty.
Elliot: You're insane.
Cox: Betty Betty BettyBettyBettyBettyBetty.
Elliot (into phone):... more

I didn't ask to be special. It just kind of happened that way.

Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends', if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.