J.D.: OK, on the night of said conception, uh... Kim and I nuded up and, um, the dirty talk began and I got a little overexcited.

Turk: Ooh! She like'a d' dirty talk!

J.D.: No, I do. I find it... more

J.D.: "So here's the truth: I was only able to diagnose your patient when I left his urine outside in the sun where it turned purple. Then I Googled 'purple pee', and the internet gave me the... more

Turk: How do you know sign language?
Janitor: Well, when I was in high school I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers to sell for pens when I... more

TURK: I'm not telling Isabella she's got a vagina till she turns eighteen.
KIM: That's gonna be an awkward birthday party.
TURK: Do NOT tell my daughter she has a vagina! I'm serious!
JD: ...it... more

Janitor:oh yes. I'm a janitor, so i couldn't think of the word "sad." i was going to say, "it makes me feel so mop."

JD: Wait , let me explain..

Janitor: Go ahead, I'm... more

I've got three words for you, sucks to be, adding a fourth, YOU

I'm brave. I just saved this fish from drowning. Off you go little buddy. He's tired now. Earlier he was dancing all around.

J. D.: Hello tall, dark, and...whatever

Janitor: Handsome?

J. D.: No.

Janitor: Well done Dr. John "I think I'm a man of the people but now thanks to the Janitor everyone knows I'm a... more

Turk: J.D., big news! Guess what my new cell phone number spells!

J.D.: Why'd you get a new cell phone number? Your old number spelled "kufunninapuh."

Turk: Yeah, well this one's... more

Turk: It sounds like you're asking me out on a man date.
J.D.: Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?