Eliot: Now I know what you're thinking.
J.D.: (Thinking) Your ass looks like two Pringles hugging...
J.D. (Out loud) No you don't!

Dr. Cox: I'm 4 seconds into this and already regretting this.

J.D.: Things Jordan says during sex.

J.D.: Hello citizens! Welcome to Sacred Heart. Home of the World's Most GIANT Doctor. Be not afraid, I'm just like you, except giant!....Turk my tush is chaffing

Turk: Alright my turn to get on... more

Believe me, the whole time we were having sex I was thinking about Turk. That came out wrong."

Dr. Cox: Don't ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that. The simple fact that you actually seem to give a crap is the reason I took an interest in you to begin with. It's why I trust you as... more

JD: I am feeling so good today, (slips and falls and gets back up), I still feel good 'cuz nobody saw me fall.

Pipe down, you little choir punks... Santa's a drunk!

Turk: What are you thinking about?
JD: What you would look like if you were Chinese.
Turk: Me, too!!

Dr. Cox: Nothing ever changes. The artist formerly known as Prince is still just Prince, my ex-wife is still pretty much my wife, Grey's Anatomy always wraps up every episode with some cheesy... more

Turk: Dude, what’s the rule about white boys dancing in public?

J.D.: Not allowed unless you’re gay.