Jordan: You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually, I love Cox.
Todd: [walks up, knocks on table] Greatest... more

If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you.

“DR. COX (while Elliot is on the phone with JD): Ask Betty why he's such a girly-girl.
ELLIOT: No!
DR. COX: Do it now, do it now, call him Betty.
ELLIOT: You're insane.
DR. COX: Betty, Betty,... more

Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh, right, cause you're diabetic. Boo hoo. You know Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!

So's your face!

J.D.: OK, on the night of said conception, uh... Kim and I nuded up and, um, the dirty talk began and I got a little overexcited.

Turk: Ooh! She like'a d' dirty talk!

J.D.: No, I do. I find it... more

Elliott: oh, my god youre afraid of balloon rides arent you?
JD: its floating whicker propelled by fire!

Elliot: [sighs] You know, Dr. Cox, you think that you have seen it all and done it all, but guess what? Heh. You haven't done me!
Dr. Cox: Give her a second there, gang.
Elliot: That didn't come... more

You know what, Dr. Cox? I have so had it with this whole macho alpha-male thing, and I have heard every tired, recycled put-down you have in you. So, from now on, save your stupid lessons for someone... more

Todd, do you have an extra large tounge depresser?"
"Sorry Carla, I'm all out."
"How did he not just say'yeah in my pants?'