Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed... more

Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'

I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.

I see your point. Kindly blow it out your ass.

...I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet there'd only be one website left and it'd be called 'Bring Back the Porn'...

You know, Bob, I've been thinking about all the times that you've manipulated me and toyed with me, and, well, I can't help but recall that children's fable about the race between the tortoise and... more

If they took all the porn off the internet there would only be one site left and it would be called "Bring Back the Porn"

In three hours, my shift ends, at which point I will be leaving and meeting with my ex-wife for a celebratory “best doctor in the city” date which is guaranteed to end in crazy hotel sex. I’m... more

COX: Normally I'd tell you something harsh right about now like, "We're not friends." But then you'll just grin that stupid grin and shake your head back and forth like 'how could that... more

“DR. COX (while Elliot is on the phone with JD): Ask Betty why he's such a girly-girl.
ELLIOT: No!
DR. COX: Do it now, do it now, call him Betty.
ELLIOT: You're insane.
DR. COX: Betty, Betty,... more