Dr. Kelso: Listen up faces, in order to save us all some time i will call all the males Daves and all the females Debbies.

Debbie: Debbie is actually my name!

Dr. Kelso: Then out of fairness to... more

Ketchup is for winners, Ted.

You went to four years of college and four years of medical school. So I can safely assume you are at least eight.

There you are you deaf bastard I hate you so much every time you utter my name I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it.

Ted I can hear now.

Who's Ted?

JD:She started to hyperventilate, and she started to reach of what she thought was oxygen, but actually turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics. Then she screamed out "I'll kill you... more

Jack: Your Skin is Wrinkly.
Dr. Kelso: Yeah? Well that shirt your wearing is gay.

KELSO: How old do you think I am, Dorian?
JD (monologue): Okay there's no way to answer that and not get in trouble. Change the subject.
JD: Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me at... more

Kelso: You Have Diabetes?
Turk: Yes I told you that...
Kelso: I thought You were Joking.
Turk: How is that Funny?
Kelso: Well it's a very serious disease and I don't like you...

Dr. Kelso: Still, if your grandmother were here, wouldn't you want her doctor to spend as much time with her as anyone else.
J.D: Grandma Dorian or Nana Hobbs? Because Nana Hobbs can be an eensy bit... more

Well, I haven't had my morning coffee today so I'm finding it hard to come up with a more colorful way of saying "Who gives a crap."