Carla: Bambi, not everyone loves journey as much as you
JD: I don't love journey
Turk:Shes just a smalltown girl
JD:(singing)Living in a lonely world, she took the midnightrain going anywhere.... more

Carla: Ok. Then i'll just go tell all your patients that they are on their own tonight because you guys are too scared.
J.D: No Carla. I'm their doctor... I should tell them.

Carla: You two do realize you're doctors right...?
JD and Turk: DOUBLE SECRET DECODER RING WEARING DOCTORS!!!!!! ACTIVATE!!!!!!
JD: Form of an ice menorah!

Turk - Oh my god she's in my head. Ok I'll use it to my advantage, (thinks) "Make me a grilled cheese sandwich woman".
Carla - Make it yourself.
Turk- (turns and looks horrified)

Carla: "Ooooh Anaconda, yeah that's the one with the giant snake!"

Todd: *pops out from behind the desk* "No, THIS is the one with the giant snake!" *points to his crotch*

Todd, do you have an extra large tounge depresser?"
"Sorry Carla, I'm all out."
"How did he not just say'yeah in my pants?'

Carla: Wanna do it on J.D.'s bed?

Turk: I think it's about time someone did.

Elliot: Those Gyno Girls are really putting the pressure on. We must have looked at a hundred women's bajingos today! Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo! I mean, I can't even look at my own bajingo, you... more

Carla: Are you familiar with the term "Delusions of Grandeur"?

Janitor: I believe I coined that term.

Keith: Goodnight you skanky, straw haired, pig whore.
Elliot: did you hear all the new adjectives?
Carla: Come here.(gives her a hug) You are not straw haired.
Elliot: I know!