Becky: I just don't think you should be getting rides from my old boyfriend.
Mark: What, you weren't done riding him yet?

Mark: [to a butler] "You know, it must really suck having a job with the word 'butt' in it."

[Mark failed a test]

Mark: You know Mrs. Connor, you always thought I was stupid. Now here's your proof.

[hands her the test]

Mark: Go ahead, make your jokes.

Roseanne: Well, it's... more

Mark: I'm sorry for making you sick, Mrs. Connor.

Roseanne: Oh, it's not your fault, Mark. Becky never should'a married you.

[Mark explains why he didn't hurry to get to the Connor's house]

Mark: I didn't think there was a dinner time here. I thought it was just grazin' 24 hours a day.

God, everyone's so afraid of getting sick, nobody'll even come near me. I feel like a leper