[about Darlene's pregnancy]
David: "When? How? Where?"
Darlene:"My first guess would be Disney World."
David: "You mean... that night after the fireworks?"
Darlene:... more

Darlene: "No, I'm serious. I think we should get married."

David: "Oh, I get it. Now you're gonna tell me you're kidding."

Darlene: "Nope. Now I'm gonna tell you I'm... more

David: [drawing things on the menu for the diner] It just doesn't feel right drawing healthy things on this menu...

Roseanne: Well then David, why don't you just draw a cancer riddled colon?... more

David: Alright, um. See, uh, boys who have boyfriends, do things with their friends that a boy who has a friend who just happens to be a boy would probably never do.

DJ: I don't... more

-Dan [after seeing what david drew on the diner menu]
"It's cute the way you made the puppies dance..."

-David "They're in a frying pan!"

Jackie: You can't treat me like this !! Plug me back in. I'll quit tomorrow, I promise. Don't take it away from me now man !! I need it, just five more minutes ... I HATE YOU!

David: Jackie, look at... more

David: well, that's a fine question D.J. See, sometimes boys have boyfriends and sometimes girls have girlfriends, and these people are called gay.
D.J.: I have boyfriends, what's the difference.