Roseanne: "Since when they got a dress code at Diane's?"
Darlene: "Yeah, Bosom-face?"
Becky: "Can't we have her put to sleep?"
Roseanne: "Well we tried but the... more

Darlene: Trust me, he goes in that room cause it's the only one with a lock on it, and he's in there for like an hour at a time. Which means he's either really, really good at it, or really, really... more

Darlene: No, I'm serious: I think we should get married.
David: Oh, I get it, now you're gonna tell me you're kidding.
Darlene: Nope. Now I'm gonna tell you I'm pregnant.

Dan: Okay, we have thirty minutes to make this house clean.

Darlene: Rub a Lamp.

[to D.J]
You're about to become a strange smell in the attic.

I am not moving to DJ's room so that Becky and my dork in-law can concieve some demon spawn in my bed.

Becky - Why don't you just kiss my butt?
Darlene - Well haul it on over here jumbo!

The only way I'm going to Prom is if I can sit in the rafters with a bucket of pigs blood.

Roseanne: And so we come to the end of bitch fest '93.

Darlene: Oh, what a time we had.

Roseanne: Well, I've got an idea. Let's talk about D.J's school.

Darlene: Yeah. I heard he got caught playing with his instrument in band.

D.J: I'm not in band, stupid.