I mouth off to everyone. People love that about me.

Darlene: Were you a virgin when you married Dad?
Roseanne: Yes I was!
Darlene: Really?
Roseanne: Absolutely, I still am.
Darlene: Oh, so you weren't.
Roseanne: No... no.
Darlene: Wow, my... more

D.J.: What's a virgin?
Darlene: You in 40 years.

To whom it concerns, Darlene's work will be late/ It fell on her pancakes and stuck to her plate./ To whom it concerns, my ma made me write this/ And I'm just her kid, so how could I fight this./ To... more

Roseanne: You two are gonna be loving sisters like me and Jackie!
Darlene: Okay.
[to Becky]
Darlene: I'll sleep with every guy in town and you gain 400 pounds.

Becky..cut..the..cheese.

[Dan is in jail]
Dan: I don't have time for this.
Darlene: Oh, I think you do.

[about Darlene's pregnancy]
David: "When? How? Where?"
Darlene:"My first guess would be Disney World."
David: "You mean... that night after the fireworks?"
Darlene:... more

Darlene: "No, I'm serious. I think we should get married."

David: "Oh, I get it. Now you're gonna tell me you're kidding."

Darlene: "Nope. Now I'm gonna tell you I'm... more

Darlene:"I'm probably gonna start throwing like a girl now."
Roseanne:"Definitely. And now that you got your period your gonna be throwing a lot harder."