(seeing Owen in a colorful shirt): What the hell happened? Elton John throw up on you?

Janet (realizing that her present isn't a dog): I got you a wolf?
Eddie: You got me a wolf!

Eddie: Hey Ikey! What do you even know about Janet? She may be the coolest person in this bar, but you'll never find out 'cuz you're too busy judging her on the outside, instead of finding out what's... more

Phil: You have no concept of other people? Do you... I mean, it’s like everyone is supposed to be on your schedule.
Eddie: You don’t leave the house. How is it that you’re the busiest guy I... more

[Sam finds Eddie at the barbecue, after he stood up Janet]
Sam: Interesting.
Eddie: What?
Sam: Or maybe disappointing is more like it.
Eddie: Your mom here?
Sam: No, she couldn’t make it.... more

Nick: Now what are you doing here?
Eddie: I hear you're going after Owen. (Nick nods) I'm coming with you.
Nick: I can handle it.
Eddie: Yeah and I'm sure you can, but I'm not letting you leave... more

Eddie: And then I was thinking about you and the way you smile and the way it starts in your eyes and spread across your face like a rush of ink. I was thinking about how I see you or I hear your... more

Nick-Carter Bunk is also the cupcake kid

Eddie- What? The cupcake kid?

Nick- You rememberr the Cupcake kid.

Eddie- No way that was the Cupcake kid?

Nick- Yeah that was the Cupcake... more

Janet Meadows: You know this whole you and me going to the homecoming game? It's a bad idea. It's not going to work. 'Cause here's the thing. I'm not taxes. I'm not the dentist. I'm not something you... more

eddie: you know what i'm saying here?
sam: yep. even a nine-year-old would get it and i'm ten.