(To McGee) I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence.

Woman: From the presentation it is clear that sexual harassment can take many forms in the workplace. A co-worker with elevator eyes looking you up and down, a co-worker shows you a cartoon or... more

Abby: You’re not listening to a word I’m saying. I’m pregnant, McGee. Twins. Haven’t told the father yet…it’s Gibbs. I know it’s wrong but something about his silver hair just gets me... more

Gibbs: Why didn't you come to me Abby?

Abby: Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.

TSA Agent: NCIS. Is that anything like CSI?
DiNozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.

Give me some good new Abbs. (Gibbs calling Abby)
I'm not pregnant!

Gibbs- "What did the urine tell you Abby?"
Abby- "Oh, all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk."

Abby: "Thank you, sir!"
Gibbs: "Don't call me sir."
Abby: "Thank you ma'am!"

DiNozzo: [spelling his name on the phone] DiNozzo. Big "D", little "I", big "N", little "ozzo".

Abby acting as Gibbs...

Abby - "I heard that, DiNozzo, another wise ass comment like that and I'll smack you so hard your grandchildren will feel it. Think it's funny, McGee? Wipe that smile... more