Give me some good new Abbs. (Gibbs calling Abby)
I'm not pregnant!

Gibbs: Why didn't you come to me Abby?

Abby: Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.

Gibbs: DiNozzo! Why are you touching his face?
DiNozzo: I don't know. It's soft, like touching a bunny rabbit.
Gibbs: Don't!

Never say your sorry, It's a sign of weakness

Tony: Six letter word for a reason to commit a crime.
Gibbs: Dinozzo...
Tony: That's seven letters.
Gibbs: Still works for me.

Gibbs: Roommates are never a good idea.
McGee: You had one, boss?
Gibbs: I had three. They're called wives.

Gibbs- "What did the urine tell you Abby?"
Abby- "Oh, all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk."

Abby acting as Gibbs...

Abby - "I heard that, DiNozzo, another wise ass comment like that and I'll smack you so hard your grandchildren will feel it. Think it's funny, McGee? Wipe that smile... more

Abby: So, what about you, Gibbs? You got any fetishes?
Gibbs: I have three ex-wives. I don't have time for fetishes.

Tony: It's a bikini. Two piece.
Kate: A bottom. And a hat?
Tony: Puerto Rican?
Gibbs: Any chance you're gonna try that on?
Kate: You first!
Gibbs: Trust me. Not gonna fit.
Kate: Pigs. I... more