(McGee yawns as he's looking at fingerprints)
McGee to Ziva: Is it me or does this look like a squirrel?

7x08 Power Down

Tony: Maybe I could be your techno-wingman!?
(McGee aims remote at Tony and presses the mute button over and over)
McGee: Do you know what that means?
Tony: No?
McGee: It means, that I've got it... more

Tony: Is it possible for feet to actually die when they're still connected to your body?

7x08 Power Down

You got to be kidding me.

And now he's gone, Eli is all but dead to me and the closest thing I have to a father is accusing me.

Tony: (opens oven) Well he's gonna be home soon.
McGee: How can you tell?
Tony: Hungry man in the oven. (accidentally knocks pot down and spills water on his pants in the process because of karma... more

Tony: Wow. You guys have a whole little thing going on that I'm not seeing. But I get it. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, Bob's your uncle. I'm hip. I dig it.
Gibbs: Good, 'cause I need volunteers.
Tony:... more

Tony: "Ziva, did you kill Houdini?"
Ziva: "It is possible, I do not remember all of their names."

(walking with dead rat)
Tony: Relax, it's just me..(holds up dead rat) and Ben!

5x06 Chimera

Ziva : youv'e been whining like a little snitch all week.
Tony: the term is bitch
Ziva : i know i was being polite