Jon: "You goofball your shoes are on the wrong feet."

Joel: "I IS NOT A GOOSEBALL!!!"

No, don't. Him's will throw up on your hands

Aldergator!

There's pee on my gasses.

I have a wiener. Daddies have wieners.

if I took a pencil and accidentally poked someone would that be an accident?

[At the farm on Aaden's day]
AADEN: I can't see sheep!
JON: You can't see what!?
AADEN: Sheep.
JON: Ok, there was a "P" on the end of that. I thought he said something else.

Bye Mommy, I love You. I'll take care of the kids.

Alexis: Is Mickey Mouse agian?
Jon: No he's just a regular mouse
Alexis: An agian mouse?
Jon: No just a mouse in red underpants

(agian=Asian)