Jon: "You goofball your shoes are on the wrong feet."

Joel: "I IS NOT A GOOSEBALL!!!"

[At the farm on Aaden's day]
AADEN: I can't see sheep!
JON: You can't see what!?
AADEN: Sheep.
JON: Ok, there was a "P" on the end of that. I thought he said something else.

Jon: "She hits me all the time."
Kate: "I do not! I give him love taps!"

Aaden:"Why we keep stoppin?"

Jon:"Cause it's a red light, buddy."

(they are watching planet earth, the monkey (aaden) is being eaten by the lion (alexis))
Aaden: He's eating me!
Jon: No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

if you can lick your elbow, you can eat you cupcake

pass gas you know... float an air biscuit

(jon talking to kate)

"What are you doing spazoid?"

Jon: What's this, Joel?
Joel: Hot dog.
Jon: It's a wiener. Like you.

Kate: The title of our story would be "Inconvienient Peeing: Life with Twins and Sextuplets."

Jon: And the sequel would be "I'm Sorry Your Shoes are Wet."