Sweet Dee: We talked about it, and we decided that we need to get rid of that gun.
Dennis: Oh, oh, the gun... yeah, we're getting rid of the gun.
Mac: You could have been killed. Dennis could have... more

Sweet Dee: Are you actually going to throw away all of your convictions for a chance to get laid?
Dennis: I don't really have any convictions.

Holy shit, there's a baby in this dumpster

I am a beautiful beautiful gazelle person

(when buying crack)
Dennis:"How much would you recommend for a first time user?"

Crack Dealer:"Tell you what, two for the price of one"

Dennis:"How... more

(to Mac) If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would’ve killed it.

Dennis: That is a racial slur, Charlie.
Mac: Calling somebody a Jew who is a Jew is not a racial slur.

Margret. You like sweat don't you? It is Margret, isn't it? Of course it is. You know you're eyebrow drives me crazy. It's so thick, so dark, and so very... connected. You're a stone cold fox,... more

What up? We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who wana hang out in our party mansion. Nothing Sexual. DUdes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat you should be able to find humor in... more

Dennis [after witnessing Mac kiss his Mom at her front door]: Oh my God! Ohhh...
Charlie: Yeah...thats a terrible thing...a terrible thing for you to see that.
Dennis: I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna... more