Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?

Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're... more

Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies!

Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie. Hang on a second. I mean the first half of that song was kind of cool, but what's with the second half?
Charlie: It's about the Night Man, like, you know, like... more

I'm a recovering crackhead, this is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare please.

Oh my God!
I will smash your face into a..... into a jelly!

Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic.
Charlie: Read the script once.
Dennis: Okay, you want me to read the script?
Charlie: Yes.
Dennis: All right.
Charlie: And... action.
Dennis: I'll read... more

Night Man
Sneaky, mean
Spider inside my dreams
I think I love you
You make me want to cry
You make me want to die
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you Night Man... more

I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck.... more

Charlie: Did you send him a friend request?
Frank: I don't wanna be his friend, I wanna shoot him in the face!