Brianna: You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup.
Sweet Dee: I will eat your babies, bitch!

Mac: I'm not a serial killer!
Frank: Then why all the shady behavior?
Mac: I've been banging a tranny, I didn't want you guys to find out!
Charlie: No, you're trying to... what?
Dennis: Oh
Dee:... more

Misc. guy- you wanna put your baby in a tanning bed?
Mac-we just wanna put him in there for a couple minutes
Dee-just to get a base
Mac-...juuust to get a baase...!

Dennis: I don't get it Dee, there are tons of women in this city, where do they go?
Sweet Dee: They're at velvet rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
Dennis: Why?
Sweet Dee: Dennis, our bar... more

Drug Dealer: What you need?
Dennis: Uh, one, please.
Drug Dealer: One what?
Dennis: Uh... one rock of crack.
Dee: One crack...
Dennis: A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? I... more

They wanna play rough? We can play rough. Lets go buy some crack.

Sweet Dee: Maybe we should think about rehab.
Dennis: We should hit rehab as soon as possible.
Sweet Dee: Soon, in a couple days, not now.
Dennis: Yeah..

I'll eat your babies, bitch...let me eat her babies.

Sweet Dee: Are you actually going to throw away all of your convictions for a chance to get laid?
Dennis: I don't really have any convictions.

You're not even listening to me... did you see my Jesus chain?