Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies!

Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?

Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're... more

Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie. Hang on a second. I mean the first half of that song was kind of cool, but what's with the second half?
Charlie: It's about the Night Man, like, you know, like... more

I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck.... more

I cut the brakes! WILD CARD bitches! (bails out of the back of the rape van)

What up? We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who wana hang out in our party mansion. Nothing Sexual. DUdes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat you should be able to find humor in... more

Green Man is saving your life right now, bro. Just go with the flow...

Dennis: "Something like where those American soldiers are raising that flag up in that one war."
Mac: "The one where we saved Japan."
Charlie: "Ohhh correct,... more

Charlie: Did you send him a friend request?
Frank: I don't wanna be his friend, I wanna shoot him in the face!

Mac: I'm not a serial killer!
Frank: Then why all the shady behavior?
Mac: I've been banging a tranny, I didn't want you guys to find out!
Charlie: No, you're trying to... what?
Dennis: Oh
Dee:... more