Ricky: Ricky, what are you going to say when you meet your grandmother?

Little Ricky: Buenos días, abuela.

Ricky: Very good, very good.

Little Ricky: What are you going to say,... more

I'm your boodyguard.

Lucy: I have more talent in my little finger than most people have in their whole body.

Ricky: Uh-huh. Well, I'll tell you what. I'm going to an audition tonight. They're casting for one of the... more

Ricky: Now look, honey, I'm perfectly well. I feel fine. But let's face it, we all have to go sometime.

Lucy: We do?

Ricky: We do unless you know something the rest of us dun't.

Lucy: No, I... more

Ricky: How am I gonna get rid of her for the day?

Fred: Well, you could lock her in the bathroom. If she stays in there as long as Ethel, she'd never even know the door's locked.

Ethel: How's your steak Ricky?

Ricky: Good.

Ethel: How's yours Fred?

Fred: Great. Nice and tender.

Lucy: How's your celery Lucy? Oh just fine, thank you. It's cooked just the way I like... more

If there's 1 thing I know how to do, it's S-P-E-L!

As I recall, it was til death do us part. That event is about to take place right now!

Ricky: Lucy seems to have some idea that I'm going to kill her.

Fred: Sooner or later, every wife decides that her husband wants to kill her. She's usually right.

IT'S ME! I'M GONNA BE A FATHER! I want you to meet my mother. I mean my wife!