Ricky: Lucy's been actin' crazy.

Fred: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people?

I won't breath a word to Mrs. Walkie Talkie!

Ethel Mertz: Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite.

Fred Mertz: What's your excuse at sea level?

Fred Mertz: She said my mother looks like a weasel.
Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, apologize.
Ethel Mertz: I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.

Ethel: What if I cried every time I gained a pound?

Fred: We'd be up to our ears in tears.

Fred: There's a wonderful show coming on right about now..

Ricky: 23 minutes after 4??

Fred: Two other people wanted to buy this car.

Lucy: Where were they from, the Smithsonian Institute?

Fred: Ethel did you take part in these shananigans?

Ethel: Yeah I did, and I'm dead tired from being up all night lifting them heavy bricks and if you say one more word to me about it Fred Mertz... more

Fred: (after adjusting the picture on the Ricardo's TV) How's that?

Lucy: The lines are fading.

Ethel: There, the lines are gone.

Ricky: So's the picture.

I've seen better things built by a beaver with its tail in a sling!