When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead... True story !

I'm teaching Ted how to live. I'm like Yoda, only instead of little and green, I'm awesome and wear suits. I'm Broda, and tonight, you're going to use the force to get any girl in here.

Hey Dude come on!
It's gonna be LEGEND....wait for it....DARY!Legendary that's it!

God, it's me, Barney. [What up!] I know we don't talk much, though a lot of girls call out your name because of me. [Awesome!]

Ted: Do you have a cold?

Barney: I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.

It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DARY!

Ted: The three days rule is insane, I mean, who even came up with that?

Barney: Jesus! Seriously, Jesus started the whole wait three days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It... more

Barney: Dear Resident, The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again but unfortunately I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can only materialize... more

Robin: Wait, hot/crazy scale?

Barney: Let me illustrate: A girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot. Thus, if she is this crazy, she has to be this hot. If she is this crazy, she... more

You don't train for a marathon. You just run it. Here's how you run a marathon. Step 1: You start running. There is no step 2.