Randy: I'll take public transportation.
Tim: Don't use your fancy words with me, it's called a bus!

Okay, two for the space man and seven for the cute little lion. " (to Buzz Lightyear and Simba the Lion)

Tim: [playing tea party; with his niece in high voice] Now, what would Her Royal Fridigness like to have?
Randy: How about a lobotomy?
Tim: Well look who's here. It's the village idiot.

Randy: Hey Beth, what do you call bad lemonade?
Beth: What?
Randy: Lemon lemonade.
[Beth, Brad and Jennifer force laughter]
Randy: Man, that's the last time I use one of Dad's jokes.

Jill: Now Brad, you're way to young to be thinking about kissing. There's other things that you need to think about first, like uh, shaving.
Brad: I've shaved.
Randy: Not a cat, stupid!

Mark chanting: Mommy and Daddy sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Randy: We're in the tree, stupid!

Randy: It's not junk, it's heavy metal.
Tim: It sounds like they banging their heads on their guitars while they're getting their teeth drilled.
Randy: Hey, cool - you saw the video!

Randy: We couldn't find any garlic gloves.
Jill: No, honey, I meant CLOVES.
Randy: Oh, so we had Mark sniffing gloves for nothing.

Brad: Wanna go play some Zombie Sneak Attack?
Randy: Can't do it. Dad made a few adjustments. The zombies won't be coming back from the dead any more.

Tim: Hey Randy, I want to talk to you.
Randy: Why didn't you just call me on the intercom? Or is it still picking up ambulance calls?
Tim: You really bust my chops sometimes.
Randy: Well you make it... more