Brad: [on the phone] Ashley, there is nothing going on between me and Melissa. I just gave her a taste of my Jello, it's not like we both chewed on the same piece of gum.

Wilson: Have you thought about what you'll study in college?
Brad: Yeah, I think about it all the time.
Wilson: Besides girls.
Brad: Then, no.

Tim: Where is the Nomad?
Brad: Well, it is called a Nomad, maybe it wandered off.

Brad: This isn't going to be one of your 'When I was a little girl' stories, is it?
Jill: No, now just listen...when I was a little person about your age...

Tim: Well, guys. I think there's something we can all learn from this.
Brad: Yeah, that a nose can be broken more than once in a day.

Brad: I explained it in the note.
Tim [Picks up note]: "Gone skiing. Brad."