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Cappie: I love your eyes, I just want to rip it off and put in my pocket.

Patty/Destiny: I love your eyes, I just wanna gouge 'em out and put them on a chain around my neck.

Cappie: You're a little twisted. Refreshing.

--Scott Michael Foster as Cappie

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Cappie: Can we all be mature and just say what we're really feeling?
How the hell could they cancel Gilmore Girls!

--Scott Michael Foster as Cappie

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Rusty: It's Beaver, he's drunk and he's peeing in your closet.
Cappie: Not again!

--Jacob Zachar as Rusty Cartwright

--Scott Michael Foster as Cappie

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Love the sinner, hate the sin.

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