It's like there's this tractor beam that seems to pull me to you no matter what I do and I'm trying to shut it down. I'm trying to make it go away!

Why are kittens called kittens? If they're baby cats shouldn't they be called cattens?

I'm going to have a frowny face cupcake for breakfast!

When did you become T-Pain?

Evan: That's what he said.
Cappie: And the streak stops at one.

Rusty: This has been hands down the best night of my life. Even better than the time they announced Pluto wasn’t a planet. I hated Pluto, it was obviously such a dwarf planet!

Doctor Larson: The ‘Anchor’, that’s an odd moniker?

Rusty: I come from a long line of sea-men

Cappie (to Rusty): You just need to find a high concentration of professors to hit on, sure you might get slapped by 99 of them, and all you need is that 100th professor to sleep with you… you... more

She may be afraid of trees, but when push comes to shove she doesn't let you drink the shampoo. Even if it does smell good.

Cappy: So you need to do her before she does you... with your weapon -I mean... that shoots... darts
Rusty: I got it
Cappy: OK